Harlo

Hmph. Hidup aku sekarang mcm hopeless sekarang. Tapi takde lah hopeless mana, kadang-kadang memories tu datang menusuk hati and without any reason, aku menangis. Haritu aku suruh my old friend datang rumah and to give me that 'stupid thing'. Dulu aku pernah lah jugak sebab my cousin ajak tapi dah stop and aku dah janji takkan ambil lagi. Sekarang ni aku memang cakap tak serupa bikin.

Aku penat, kadang-kadang okay kadang-kadang tak. Dah lah nak PMR this year. Aku boring lah. Kalau down, kena tidur. Bukan lah tidur betul-betul, tidur tu macam nak cover menangis. Aku penat nak menangis benda yang tak pasti. Aku yakin gila dia tengah happy sekarang padahal aku kat sini macam unta. Aku yakin gila dia tak pernah menangis macam aku menangis sekarang. Entah-entah dah tak kesah  langsung pasal aku.

Aku ni pun satu, cakap nak move on tapi .. Fine sekarang aku mengaku. Aku poyo cakap aku dah move on semata-mata nak sedapkan hati kawan-kawan aku semua. Aku tahu diorang taknak tengok aku macam ni. Satu je cara nak jadi Atikah Jaafar yang dulu => move on and forget about him. But susah gila.

Macam mana aku nak lupa padahal hari-hari aku nampak dia dengan someone else. Macam mana aku nak lupa padahal setiap penjuru dalam bilik ni ada barang dia. Panda bear, music box, rantai tu semua takkan aku nak buang kot. Macam mana aku nak lupakan dia padahal hati aku still sayang dia. Even dia dah patahkan semua janji dia, hancur kan hati aku. Macam mana?

Kalau semua orang cakap aku deserve better, kenapa diorang tak pernah bagi orang yang better tu? Maybe soon aku dapat tapi aku taknak pun. Nampak mcm desperate kan? Ya memang aku desperate nak dia. Nak dengar suara dia.

Aku terlalu rindu dia. Tapi dia rindu aku ke? Kalau lah aku boleh mati satu hari dan tengok apa reaction dia. Hmph.

Love it!

I'm Trying To Move On

Harlo

I knew I was too emotional about the breakup . I'd stayed in bed for a week and half . I was really depressed . I just wanted to sleep , sleep , sleep , sleep , thinking that maybe that would change the seasons , or somehow change my life , I was trying to kill myself but failed . I knew I can find other boy who is better than him but I refused to do that , I knew he will come back to me . Perhaps one day .

Why he ran away from me everytime I saw him ? I just couldn't get it . Hmph .

Harlo,

I love this song because the lyrics are representing my fucking life . Damn , it's hurt :\
Especially everytime I saw him with that BITCH .  But I always pretending that it's okay because

" I DESERVE BETTER"

:D



New Video from me hehe!

Harlo !

Fuyoh lama gila tak update kan. Hihi. Balik sekolah, takde kerja nak buat. So i buat video pasal my ex boyfriend and show off hadiah-hadiah yang dapat time party haritu :') Pandai-pandai lah kuat kan volume kalau nak dengar apa i membebel. Kalau dengar betul-betul, i membebel benda yang tulus datang dari hati -.- I pakai getah braces so my teeth sakit gila. Bila dah sakit tahap kritikal, suara pun mcm gedik-gedik je slow.

Oh hah, i tangkap some 'syok sendiri' punya gambar.

I tunjuk satu je lah ye. Oh I got some photos from my party. Kejop ye awak ....

Cute lah diorang semua :') Siapa tak datang rugi wooooooo. Barlo!

I'm crying right now. It's just too hard for me. I really miss the old time of us. I knew he will come back to me another eleven months but would it stay forever? My heart is broken.

Every night I dream about our memories. Starting from the first time I saw you and Genting and all the tears. I'm lost. Totally lost. Thanks for your hug on my birthday. And my kiss for you on that day maybe was the last kiss from me. I might get die soon. Well who knows right? I don't want to die now but how I wish I could die now so that I don't have to feel this pain.

When I wake up in the morning , I will kiss your panda bear. I miss you so much. Wait, hah I can't stop crying -.- Ehm.

Ya Allah, I hope he will be mine forever soon :'(

2011

Hey

So I'm having a lot of pressure right now. My heart is broken. He shattered it, stepped on it and just threw it away. 2011 is the worst year ever.

I'm having PMR and he is having SPM this year. He said he wants to study hard for his SPM and he will come back to me after SPM. Hmmm.

Should i believe him?
Yes.
Should i belive him?
No
Should i?
Yes, of course

I'm so confuse right now. Well of course i trust him, but ... I have to wait for him for almost A YEAR. I can't stop crying. I cried a lot these few days. I can't stop thinking about him. I love him. I would do anything for him.

I hope he will come back to me after his SPM. I have to study hard this year. Wish me luck okay? Oh yeah, I'm changing. I'm not that Atikah Jaafar who laugh a lot anymore. I'm a different person now. My heart is too hurt. This is too much.

And , I miss him :'( *crying