New life is hard

"Sometimes you promise someone forever but it doesn't work out that way"


I know this is weird but I have to admit that I'm still stuck. But hell yeah, I got a new boy right now. Yes, he makes me laugh. He makes me happy. Eventhough honestly, I'm forcing myself to love him right now. He asked me to be his girl for about 4 times before this. I can't say 'No' anymore. I have to give myself a chance to be happy because I know, I believe in him. I believe that he can make me happy when everyone else can't, just the way Hardcore always did. 


It's actually kinda hard to have someone new in my life. I have to introduce him to my life one by one. From myself to my family and my friends. I think it's very important for him to know how I deal with my life. I knew him since I was in a relationship with Aliff but we were not really that closed ya know. And yeah I want him to know how I deal with my family. I mean, I have a really beautiful family. I want him to get along with my girls. And know that my girls are my everything. He has to understand that. No matter what, my girls are more important than him.


It has been about a week since both of us in this relationship. I know this is selfish but I want him to know everything about who the real me first before I know about himself. I'm kinda paranoid to be in a relationship. I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of hoping too much. But yeah as Nana's said, we have to think positive. Who knows, maybe he is serious and sincere to be with me? But afterall, I want him to know about my past. So that he will always remind himself not to hurt me just the way Hardcore did.


The best part is kitorang pernah couple in only 24 hours and break. I was not very sure about my feelings on that time. At first, he was not okay about it. He was shocked and he apologized to me because he failed of making me happy. Then, a few hours after that, he bbm-ed me and asked me to be his girl back. He wants to be serious with me. He wants to make me happy. I still remember, he said "I taknak tengok you menangis. Buat apa I nak you menangis? I nak you happy". The moment I heard it, my walls fell down one by one. This is it. I have to forget the past. And yeah, I accept him with all my heart. I guess, he is lucky. Very lucky. Lol


I hope everything will be fine between us. I know this relationship won't last forever, but I want him  to atleast have a relationship that he will never forget. I will make him happy. I will support him. But trust me, this is nothing for me. I know this relationship is no-where. 


To Tajul Imran, congratulations! Happy Birthday.